A proper night’s sleep can be hard to find, but good sleep hygiene habits can go a long way to giving you a restful night.

Sleep is one thing we all need; it’s the foundation of everything we do. Yet sometimes it’s the one thing we can’t get, no matter how hard we try. We can go through seasons of life when we struggle to sleep, especially when there are small children in the house or when we are unwell. There can also be temporary disruptions to sleep due to stress or hormonal changes. Sometimes, it can seem as though we might never get a good night’s sleep again. There are things that we can do to support our sleep, and by creating good habits, we are more likely to get the most out of the sleep we do have.

So what is sleep, and what does it do for us?

Sleep has several stages, including NREM and REM. NREM sleep has 3 stages, each with distinct brain wave patterns and characteristics. Rapid eye movements and vivid dreaming characterise the REM stage of sleep. Although scientists don’t know the full extent of what happens when we sleep, it is vital to our bodies because it allows them to regenerate. Sleep plays a role in allowing our brains to store memories, regenerate tissues, and support cognitive function. We need sleep to help us regulate our mood, emotions, and overall wellbeing.

Consistent Sleep and Wake Time

One of the best ways to support your sleep is to maintain a consistent sleep-wake time. Try going to bed and getting up around the same time, even on weekends. It trains your body when to expect rest, and this consistent pattern has positive implications for mood, sleep and even heart health.

Why Does It Work?

Having a consistent wake time is key to setting your circadian rhythm (body clock). This consistency sets biological processes in motion, including the timing of when your body releases cortisol, the hormone that signals your body it’s time to be awake and alert, and the timing of melatonin production in the evening to prepare for sleep.

Cut The Caffeine

If you’re having trouble sleeping, an automatic reaction is to increase caffeine intake during the day to help you stay awake, which can create a vicious cycle. You don’t sleep, so you reach for caffeine, which can, in turn, affect your sleep. Caffeine makes it harder to fall asleep, leading to lighter sleep, and causes you to need the toilet more during the night. When considering our overall caffeine consumption, we need to recognise that it is a stimulant found in foods like chocolate and in many drinks, such as tea, coffee, and cola. Controlling your caffeine intake can significantly improve your sleep.

Why Does It Work?

It is important to note that not everyone responds to caffeine the same way. Some people are more sensitive to caffeine than others, while I have found I have a lower tolerance for caffeine as I age. One way caffeine works in our brains is by blocking adenosine receptors. Adenosine is a chemical that builds up in our brains while we are awake; the more we have, the sleepier we feel. When caffeine blocks the receptors, it can be one of the factors that disrupts sleep, so reducing caffeine allows the natural process to continue. Limiting my coffee intake to two cups a day and not drinking coffee after 12pm has significantly improved my ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Ban Bed Rotting

Have you heard the term bed rotting? It refers to the tendency to stay in bed for long periods while awake, binging on Netflix, scrolling on devices, or reading to relax or avoid stress. Bed rotting as a one-off is not necessarily bad, but it can become habitual. Using our bed for things other than sleeping (and intimacy) can affect sleep. If you are struggling to sleep, make it a habit to only use your bed for sleeping and not treat it like a couch. If you are lying awake at night, get out of bed, sit in a darkened room and read until you feel sleepy and then go back to bed.

Why Does it Work?

When we have trouble sleeping, our brain starts to associate the bed with being awake. We can start to link it with anxiety around sleep or with stress. When we start using it as a place to hang out and watch movies or scroll, we add to that association, and before we know it, bed is for everything except sleep. Using your bed only for sleep starts to retrain your brain to see the bed as a place for rest and sleep.

Sleep is a really important part of our overall health and wellbeing, and extensive research is being conducted on the many ways it helps us. If you are struggling with sleep for an extended period and have no explanation for it, it’s worth getting some help. There are a number of specialists who can help with sleep issues, including GPs, psychologists, and naturopaths.

These are just some ways you can support your sleep. Sleep is the foundation on which everything else is built; small changes and good sleep routines can make all the difference.

Article supplied with thanks to Lorrene McClymont.

About the Author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer from Hope Images. On her blog ‘Moments to Rest’, she shares about rest, faith, and family.

Feature image: Canva

Have you ever had a dream that God has given you that you have given up on?

It feels like you have been waiting so long that it is dead and buried. But what if it isn’t dead? What if the dream is lying dormant?

Every March in the area we live in, beautiful pink Easter Lilies, also known as Belladonna Lilies, pop up.  They always catch my eye. They bloom for a season, then are gone until the next year. Just because I can’t see their beautiful flowers doesn’t mean they are gone forever. They are just dormant. 

Dormant Season

Many plants have a dormant season, including Easter Lilies. The season’s flower dies off, but the bulb remains. In the bulb is everything that the plant needs to grow again, when conditions are right. 

A dormant season isn’t a waste. The bulb is deep in the earth, absorbing the nutrients that it needs. It’s removing waste from the season that’s been and preparing to grow again. Dormancy protects the plant from extreme temperatures and allows root development in preparation for the coming season. 

Our dreams are often like that. I have wanted to write for as long as I can remember. When I was in my teenage years, I used to write children’s books in my head, plan stories, and write poetry as a creative outlet. I wanted to write more publicly, but I never felt like it was the right time. As time went by, I would write journals, blogs, and stories. It was a way of processing, but I never published anything publicly until the last few years. 

When I think about why I didn’t do it before now, it feels like a season of dormancy. God was preparing me. Many things needed some work for it to be the right time, myself included. Ten years ago, I would have wilted at the first sign of criticism. I was too insecure to give my work to others for feedback, so I could improve. My self-image was so poor that I thought no one would care about anything I had to say. I was not ready to write then, and it would have crushed something so precious in my life before it even began. A season of dormancy has allowed for sustainability. 

Strengthen Our Roots

Sometimes it feels so long since we had the promise from God or felt hope that the dream in our heart could be achievable, that we give up on it. We think it’s dead and buried, and there is no hope for us. Trust that there is a right time for you, and the waiting is enabling you to prepare. In dormancy, we can strengthen our roots, learn to trust God deeply, and work on ourselves. If you are waiting to start working towards a dream, consider that it may not be dead; it’s just dormant. 

Article supplied with thanks to Lorrene McClymont.

About the Author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer from Hope Images. On her blog ‘Moments to Rest’, she shares about rest, faith, and family.

Feature image: Canva

I have been a step-parent for close to twenty years. It’s a unique journey, and no person’s experience will be the same.

No family has a recipe for successfully combining relationships with the other family, adding to the blended family, or navigating the myriad complicated circumstances that can occur with family breakdown. My husband and I both brought children into our relationship. Due to infertility, we were unable to add to our family. When we married, we both became step-parents. I am sharing from my experience things that worked in our house, as well as things we learned from our own family. 

Give the Children Some Agency

If you are starting the blended family journey, something that worked really well for us was to work with our kids on the house rules and consequences. We included our children in the conversation, then made sure we had a couple of posters with the rules up. In a situation where both of them had very little control, it meant they could gain some buy-in.  It also helped with different rules at different homes.  Because the kids had a part in discussing our house rules, it removed ‘well, I can do it at the other house’ from the conversation. 

The Kids Need Time

The kids need time to readjust when they come back from the other family’s house. Even in the most amicable of situations, there are likely to be some different rules and expectations between homes. It can be challenging, confusing, and frustrating for kids to come back, and it takes a minute to adjust. We used to find it took the kids at least a couple of days to acclimatise, which definitely led to some challenging behaviour.

Avoid Being the Disciplinarian 

It may be a controversial take, but as much as humanly possible, for us, it worked to have discipline done by the primary parent. I am not talking about situations where the step-parent was the only one present; if my husband and I were both in the room and something happened with our respective children, we would try to discipline our own. Our role as step-parents was to build relationship. We didn’t always handle this well in our house, and it can quickly lead to resentment when the non-biological parent constantly steps in to discipline unnecessarily. 

Communication Between Partners is Key 

Communicate with your partner. I did not communicate some things that happened early on in our relationship.  It was while we were adjusting to being a blended family, and I was afraid to upset everyone. I was trying to make things work, and I didn’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings. We had already both had a failed relationship, and I was terrified of messing up our marriage, so I kept quiet instead of working through things together. I carried a lot of anxiety in the early days, trying to hold it all together. My husband also struggled with this. It took a while to find a good balance, but communication is key. 

Prioritise Your Marriage

Your relationship with your spouse is primary. My daughter is married now, and we have discussed this in detail a few times over the years.  I did not put my husband first in the early days of our relationship. It had been my daughter and me against the world for a few years, and I jumped too quickly to her defense, often without hearing his side. Sometimes it was necessary, because I understood her unique perspective on life better than he did. But sometimes it wasn’t. When we blended the families, I just wanted everyone to be happy, and at times, that came at the expense of the relationship.

They Are Not Adults

We always tried to keep in mind that the children in our family were just that, children. Children hear everything, even when you don’t think they are listening. There is no place for any bad mouthing, gossip, or abuse of the other parent in front of them. Yours or your partner’s fight with the other parent is not their fight. They, as children, should be able to be children for as long as they can, and part of that is not being dragged into their parents’ adult situation. Doing this is not easy.  Family breakdown comes with all sorts of tension and pain. As a step-parent, there is nothing to be gained by saying horrible things to a child about their other parent. All that will happen is they will resent you. 

Blending a family is tricky. Not only are you bringing the scars from your previous relationship into the new one, even if you have done some healing, the kids can be deeply affected by what has happened in their home. Every situation is completely unique, and step-parenting itself is a unique journey. I have found in my own life and family, it has been a gift. I have learned things about myself that surprised me a good way, but also found some areas that really needed some work. We have developed a strong family bond over time, but it was the insights developed through the ups and downs of the journey that led to this.

Article supplied with thanks to Lorrene McClymont.

About the Author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer from Hope Images. On her blog ‘Moments to Rest’, she shares about rest, faith, and family.

Feature image: Canva