Have you ever had dreams and plans for life, started down the path to achieving them, and then looked around you and wondered why where you are doesn’t seem to relate to the dreams and plans you started trying to achieve? Sometimes, that can be exciting – we can be further along than expected. Other times, it can be incredibly frustrating, with a side order of unmet expectations and unfulfilled dreams.

Detours Lead to Questions 

I got married for the first time at 19. My dreams for that marriage were pretty standard, I think: grow old together, have lots of children, buy a house, sell it after a few years and buy a bigger one, travel, and then have some grandkids running around. Things did not go the way I expected. I have a beautiful daughter from that marriage, but when it ended, I was left with a lot of questions. There were so many questions about myself, God, and my future as a single mum. I wondered how on earth this happened. My reality was so far from my plan.

I have been married to my second husband for close to sixteen years now. Again, I had many dreams and plans for this marriage, and they also involved many children, houses, and travel. My husband has a son, and we blended our family, but due to reasons that we had no control over, we weren’t able to have any more children, we don’t own a house anymore, and we haven’t done a lot of travel. The dream to have more children in particular was an incredibly hard one to let go, I grieved it for a long time. Once again, my master plan looked nothing like the reality I was standing in.

Always Keep Moving Forward

We don’t go from A to B in a nice straight line. My experiences in life have taught me that life’s paths aren’t linear. We take steps forward; we go back a few steps. There might need to be a side step and then another step up. Somewhere, there could be a stop on a platform for a while. Sometimes, we go around in a circle and end up where we started. It’s easy to become frozen when life is not how you dreamed it would be. Discouragement can cause us to stop moving altogether, paralysed by our own unmet dreams and unfulfilled expectations. Even if our steps are small, it’s important to keep moving forward.

Unfulfilled Dreams Can Be Pivotal Moments

If life were linear, I wonder if we would see the character development we need to be able to live in a community with other people. The situations that we encounter along the way that seem at the time to be the most painful detours can be the situations that produce the most growth in us. Those side steps that seem like heartbreak and unfulfilled dreams can be the steps that lead to pivotal moments in our futures. 

There is a passage in the bible in John 15 :4-5, where it talks about how we are like the branches of a grapevine and Jesus is like the vine. It says that we are to remain in him. Without the vine (Jesus) we can’t produce fruit. Life is not linear, and brings plenty of detours along the way, but these become so much harder when we don’t navigate them in partnership with Jesus. We can continue to walk through the difficult situations that we face because we know that we don’t do it alone. When we walk it with him, he will produce good things out of the painful detours in our lives.

Article supplied with thanks to Life FM in Adelaide.

Feature image: Canva

About the author: Lorrene McClymont is a writer and photographer who lives in the beautiful Barossa Valley in South Australia. You can connect with her on Instagram.

You might know the lovely Quaker saying, “Proceed as the way opens.” In a risk-averse era—one where we want absolute clarity and know that we are liable if we forget to read the small print—this is a gentle prompt to accept the ambiguity of life.

It reminds us that everything isn’t known in advance, but that we must trust the process—or better still, trust the steady hand of God—and proceed as the way opens.

When the Way Doesn’t Open Quickly

Trouble is, this often requires patience. The way doesn’t always open as quickly or as obviously as we would like. The dilemma is not new. Ask Gideon, who required repeated reassurance from God that his call to lead the Israelites was indeed valid (Judges 6). His was a call he hadn’t been looking for—indeed, it wasn’t anywhere on his list of priorities. He was content to lead a life of bubbling cynicism and resentment, and had no expectation that this would change. But it did—and he was invited to proceed as the way opened in a manner he had never contemplated.

Gideon is probably not your name, and his experience is unlikely to be yours. For all that, it is possible that a way might open unexpectedly and offer opportunities you were not looking for. How should you react when an unanticipated option opens? Is the advice to “proceed as the way opens” to be followed blindly? Of course not. It is wise to be wise. All that glitters is not gold, and not every opportunity should be taken up. In fact, many opportunities should be shunned for the simple reason that they distract us from what we are meant to be doing.

Learning to Live Open-Handedly

So if the Quaker admonition should be viewed with some suspicion, why am I promoting it? Simply put, I see many people who are so set on the path they are on that they are not open to new possibilities that God opens. And life is rich and full and there are marvellous possibilities everywhere.

I think the Quakers also want us to approach life with a sense of wonder. God is always present and always active, so rather than assume the absence of God, assume the presence of God. It is a discipline I am trying to cultivate—to stop and pause and ask, “Could God be in this?” and also “In what way is God a part of this?”

Note what the question doesn’t assume. It doesn’t assume that everything is God-directed, but it does assume that somewhere in the mix, God’s fingerprints are to be spotted. Put differently, in every situation, no matter how difficult, God provides a way forward—so proceed as the way opens.

No, I am not saying that every sickness comes from God, or that every retrenchment has been orchestrated by God, or that every relationship breakdown is from God. But I am saying that God is there somewhere, so be open to the wonder of that.

As the old hymn puts it:

“Standing somewhere in the shadows you’ll find Jesus,

He’s the only one who cares or understands;

Standing somewhere in the shadows you will find Him,

And you’ll know Him by the nail prints in His hands.”

When We Get It Wrong

It is right to ask the “what now?” question. What am I supposed to do now that everything has deviated from plan and things feel out of control?

Pause, breathe deeply, ask God what you are supposed to do in this impossible situation, and then proceed as the way opens… And a way will open. It might be slow and circuitous, for God is rarely in a hurry. Indeed, as a general rule, quick fixes are not from God—while the longer route where we learn much on the way, often is.

What if we take the wrong route?

Let’s be clear. God does not abandon us because we take a wrong turn. After all, if our GPS is able to redirect us when we ignore its initial instruction, God is more than capable of doing so. That’s helpful to remember, because it’s the reminder that even when I am at fault, God is more than able to open a new way—a way which is opened in love, with the generous invitation, “proceed as the way opens.”

That may be through repentance, or a careful review of our life and values, a study of Scripture, or a discussion with other Jesus followers. Often it is simply through keeping our eyes open and seeing what opens before us.

Jesus promised those who follow Him, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). That’s a good reason not to be anxious, but to proceed as the way opens. After all, the one who opens the path is the one who is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).

Article supplied with thanks to Brian Harris.

About the Author: Brian is a speaker, teacher, leader, writer, author and respected theologian who is founding director of the AVENIR Leadership Institute, fostering leaders who will make a positive impact on the world.

Feature image: Canva