By: Feranmi Taiwo
Letting go can be scary, but raising confident, capable kids starts earlier than you think. Susan Woodworth explores how parents can nurture independence, even in toddlers.
When Should You Start Encouraging Independence?
“Believe it or not, now is as good a time as any,” Susan said. “Even if they’re just two years old.”
Children can begin developing independence early, not by wandering off alone, but by making small decisions. “You want them to learn to make decisions, take control over the things they can do, and feel confident problem-solving,” Susan explained.
What Does That Look Like at Age Two?
It’s all about age-appropriate choices. “They can choose which shoes to wear or what snack to eat,” said Susan. “It might take longer, but it’s worth it. You don’t want to be picking their shoes when they’re 30.”
Independence doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built over time with consistent trust and guidance.
The ‘Stretchy Elastic’ Approach
Susan encouraged parents to think of independence like an elastic string. “You’re slowly stretching that elastic,” she said. “They’re getting further away, but still staying safe and coming back.”
Start small. “Let them play in their room by themselves or spend a few minutes in the front yard while you keep an eye out.”
What If You’re Not Ready?
For many parents, the real struggle isn’t their child’s readiness, it’s their own. Susan reassured listeners: “If you can trust them, they can trust themselves. If they feel you don’t trust them, they’ll hesitate to try.”
She suggested pairing acceptance with confidence. “Say, ‘I know this is hard for you, and I know you can do this without me.’”
Freedom With Responsibility
As kids grow, independence expands from walking to school, to hanging out with friends. But it should always come with boundaries.
“You can give them freedom once they’ve shown responsibility,” said Susan. “Finish your homework, then you can see your friends. The more freedom they want, the more responsibility they take.”
The Risks of Overprotection
Of course, it’s tempting to wrap kids in cotton wool. But Susan warns against overprotecting them.
“If you shelter them too much, they grow up scared,” she said. “They don’t trust themselves or the world.”
And when independence is forced, like moving out after high school, some kids may struggle. But Susan reminded us, “Eventually, they step up. Some just take longer. It depends on their personality.”
Final Encouragement
Whether your child is choosing their outfit or walking to school alone for the first time, giving them small doses of independence helps build confidence for life.
Start small, stay present, and stretch that elastic one step at a time.
Article supplied with thanks to Sonshine.
Feature image: Canva
